Joke Time

One more thing I want to add to this blog is jokes. I love em, and have a heap on my computer. So I think that I'll post a joke each day. Here's the first one, it's from the king of comedy, Rodney Dangerfield...

Rodney Dangerfield Quotes

*My wife only has sex with me for a purpose. Last night she used me to time an egg.

*It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass!

*My wife isn't very bright. The other day she was at the store, and just as she was heading for our car,someone stole it. I said, "Did you see the guy that did it?" She said, "No, but I got the license plate."

*Last night my wife met me at the front door. She was wearing a sexy negligee. The only trouble was, she was coming home.

*A girl phoned me and said, "Come on over. There's nobody home." I went over. Nobody was home!

*A hooker once told me she had a headache.

*I went to a massage parlor. It was self service.

*If it weren't for pickpockets, I'd have no sex life at all.

*I was making love to this girl and she started crying. I said, "Are you going to hate yourself in themorning?" She said, "No, I hate myself now."

*I knew a girl so ugly that she was known as a two-bagger. That's when you put a bag over your headin case the bag over her head comes off.

*I knew a girl so ugly, they use her in prisons to cure sex offenders.

*My wife is such a bad cook, if we leave dental floss in the kitchen the roaches hang themselves.

*I was such an ugly baby, when I was born the Dr.slapped my Mother.

*I'm so ugly I stuck my head out the window and got arrested for mooning!

*The other day I came home and a guy was jogging past, naked. I asked "Why?" He said "Because you came home early."

*My wife's such a bad cook, the dog begs for alka-seltzer.

*At my age, I'm envious of a stiff wind.

*My wife is such a bad cook, in my house we pray after the meal.

*My wife likes to talk on the phone during sex; she called me from Chicago last night.